Random Rant

Yes, i am gonna rant, n hard. Really pissed off right now. This is like day 7 or 8 that Gabe has been rejecting his solids. He doesn't totally refuse it, but he eats a few spoons and starts to fuss. I think it started with his cough n flu past week, but as of now i can see that both are very nearly gone, so i expected him to start eating well again. Previously he had been doing so well, which was why his weight had gone up 0.3kg,which is good. The other day we had a doc visit, and his weight dropped from 7.22kg to 7kg now.

Am i upset? Of course I am. I worked so damned hard to make sure he has enough to eat and got used to eating solids. Then all of a sudden, it goes downhill and worse still he lost weight. Some of you may think i am some psycho mom trying to force her son to eat. How can i not be? He needs to do a crucial operation which needs to see him put on weight faster. Some may think man, i need to chill...yeah as if chilling will make him gain weight.

And yes i feel the stress from Dr to make Gabe eat more. But more so, for the fact that i love him and want him to this op soon so that he can be near 100%, and grow well. Does that make me psychotic? I hate it when people think I do not know what i am doing. Trust me, i have tried nearly everything, n this boy is just a difficult eater. And it doesn't help that Gabe's sleep pattern is still haywire to this day, waking anywhere from 2-4 times a night still. Do i wish i could have my previous 8-10 hours sleep? Of course i do!! But when you have a kid, all this has to be sacrificed. Am i entitled to complain? I sure as H*** think so. But does that mean i hate my life now? No. Does it mean i need help? Yeah sure, from the big guy up there. God. I need him to help make Gabe eat more, sleep more. Grow more. So unless there is anyone who is Him and capable of doing that, then don't tell me i need help.

I do the best I can and i happen to think i'm doing a damned bloody good job.