Short Trip Aug 2016

During summer, most corporate workers will get some days off too, so in Japan, everywhere, and I mean everywhere, especially beach areas are fully booked months before July. And even if you manage to get vacancies, the prices per night are so ridiculously high, I feel it`s not worth paying 3 times the amount.

Daddy had a few days off from work too, so in the end we decided to head north of Tokyo to Kusatsu & Toyama. Kusatsu is a lovely mountain area especially popular during winter months for skiing. We stayed a night there just to relax and chill and enjoy the cool breeze and scenery. And visited the Snow Monkey park.

Next day we headed to Toyama and stayed in the city at ANA Crowne Plaza which was lovely. We had views of the castle from our room, the boys made themselves at home. And next day we headed to the highlight of our trip, Kurobe Dam in the mountains. It was worth the travel from Tokyo which will take 5-6 hours of driving.

Lucas was super excited to see the train and there are 3 categories to choose from. Economy, 1st class and special class. We took the 1st class first leg of the journey, where we had comfy seats and as you can tell from the pics, both kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves. We got off at the 2nd stop so that the boys could run around and take a dip in the natural onsen. Gabe enjoyed the most and made a hissy fit when we pulled him out to go. Thank goodness I brought extra clothes.

Needless to say, both KOed on the train journey back. Beautiful scenery, I`d love to go back again during autumn sometime.

And the seafood...yummy yummy, so fresh. Let`s go back there again!!!

Summer School 2016

You know what are the most dreaded months for mums in Japan? End July till end August. Not because it`s hot, rather because it`s the longest holidays ever for children! It`s the super long Summer holidays here. Made worse by the very hot weather and yup, we have very very frustrated and angry mums around!1

Now, luckily for me, the kiddos are in an English preschool, so they follow a different system. And that means while our school is officially closed, however, they have very thoughtfully & kindly open the school for summer school!1 Hi Hip Hooray!!! And that means the kids get to have tons of fun, and mummy gets rest!

Seriously it is heaps of fun for the kids, and I can honestly say Gabe & Lucas enjoyed themselves. They have icecream days, yogurt days, fruit jelly days....water sprinkler fun, pool fun, water bucket relays....crafts like making T shirts and cool bags!

It was just for 3 weeks, from 10am till 3pm. Expensive, yes, but so worth it.

These are some of the items they made during this time...aren`t they all so pretty?

Bye Bye TuTu

Lucas has lost another love. First it was moomoo and now it's TuTu. Tutu has been his best friend too since like he was a baby. And frankly, it was Mine too! I mean that small unassuming thingy has magical powers I tell you.

-Lucas can't sleep:put tutu in and well, dreamland here we go
-Lucas has crying fit in car: put tutu in and well, our eardrums have stopped vibrating
-Lucas goes on a long trip in aero plane: put tutu in entire journey, people look at us with awe coz we have such a well behaved youngster
-Lucas screams coz he wants to buy a toy and we say no: put tutu in and he immediately let's go of said toy and we save few thousand yen

See, so powerful! And yet, all good things must come to an end. Thanks to the father who decided enough was enough. So one fine night, he told Lucas that he was a big boy, a Thomas boy more importantly, a strong engine. Lucas says he is, promptly takes out tutu n gives to the dad.

Then.....time to go to bed, he asks for it, evil dad doesn't give, we go to bed, Lucas sobs quietly repeatedly asking for beloved tutu. Errr, mummy can't do anything, daddy has it. Told him he's a good engine, he now says no he isn't. More sobbing. Finally after much kisses n pats, he falls asleep but for the next 3 days wakes up around 2am asking for tutu...sigh.

So, fast forward to today about 2weeks post-tutu, we are doing much better, tutu has been mentioned only like twice. Kuddos to the father coz I obviously wouldn't be brave enough to pull that plug. Basically that tutu was my sanity pill.

Bye bye tutu you served your purpose well

Special Education, The Way To GO? Or No?

Recently, we`ve been having to think of Gabe`s near future, which is Primary school, when he turns 6. Here in Japan, the new term starts in April and your age during this month will determine if you are eligible for primary school. Gabriel will be 6 next year, however, as he is a June baby, he will not have had turn 6 yet in April 2017. Therefore, he has to wait another year which is April 2018 for him to be eligible.

And of course, it gets even more complicated because he has Down Syndrome. So, he probably will　not be able to go to a normal primary school. And, in Japan, the local council decides where he SHOULD go. So next year in April 2017, we will need to start the process and do the necessary paperworks, then they will interview both Gabe & us. During this interview, they will observe and probably ask him questions and from there, they decide whether Gabriel goes to the following:

Option A
Normal Japanese School system, within a special class. This is a small class, probably about 15-20 students, but it`s part of a typical Japanese primary school.

Option B
A special education school, where all the kids have some form of disability.

Now, where we stay, in Setagaya-ku, there are only 2 special schools. both are to us, very far, it would take me about an hour in morning traffic to reach.　The bright side is that there is a school bus, but that means Gabe would need to wake up at a very very disturbing time of maybe 6am! Anyway, we had the opportunity to visit both these schools. One is very new and impressive. The building I mean. The facilities seem top notch too, with a hall, gym, pool, etc. Huge compound. teachers, well at first glance seems friendly. The other, rather run down, but I heard they are upgrading with the building next door, so it will be spankingly impressive too when finished.

Quite frankly, you can`t be sure how Gabe will fit in or whether the teachers are good or nice. Just once visit will not give you that idea. It`s more for you to see the school facilities and a glimpse into the students` daily routine. For us I`m sure Gabriel will be looked after well there. But as parents, I`m not sure if this is the right path for Gabe.

You see, previously before I visited, I had a very very bleak image in my head and I was so so sure I wouldn`t want Gabe to be part of this life. I had imagined severely disabled kids here who would ultimately slow down Gabe`s progress. I know, what a bitch I am. But I couldn't help it. I wanted so much more for Gabe and thought he could go so much further if he mixed with normal kids in a typical environment.

However, after my visits, I`m kinda on a different tune, perhaps more confused than ever, but my attitude toward these schools have changed. I can see, that many of these kids are able to learn and most of them are ADHD, Down Syndrome and Autistic. And with the care of the special teachers, perhaps they will flourish better than being in a normal school special class, where the teacher probably will not be able to focus much on Gabe. In a special school, there probably will be 2 teachers to 3-4 students. More attention, more focus.

But I know that for a lot of parents of special kids, they probably want their kids to be in a normal school because of the stigma attached being that if your child needs to go to a special school, it would mean that he or she is really really slow in learning and cannot belong to a normal environment. I don`t feel ashamed, I would never feel that way. For me, it`s more to Gabe`s capability in my eyes, yes I`m biased.

The decision isn`t entirely in our hands. If they do decide that Gabe belongs to a special school environment, we can choose to agree or appeal the decision. I`m not sure what we`ll do at this moment, but we still have time. I need to think about this.

So, that`s that. Wait n See...

Why 2 is ENOUGH

Very often, especially these past months, I`ve been asked a very frequent question: So, when is the 3rd one coming?......Yup, the million dollar question.

Honestly, I`ve asked myself this question too, many many times and given much thought to it. And the answer is NO MORE BABIES. I think I`ve had enough, especially since I`ll be 40 next year and it isn`t easy to raise 3kids on your own in a foreign land, and with one of those kids being a special needs kid. Before I got married, yeah, I thought I wanted 4 kids, now 2 is a blessing.

And I think the question comes often now because Lucas is turning 2.6 years old and that`s a pretty good age gap to plan for the next one. But I think it`s time to be selfish and think of myself.

For the past 5 years, I`ve been so busy changing diapers and wondering if I`m raising my kids right, if I`m doing all I can for Gabe, surviving on minimal sleep mostly. I want time to myself now. I want to enjoy time doing my own things, not continuing to change diapers and listen to a crying baby and waking up multiple times at night to feed a baby. I`m tired. Very tired. It hasn`t been easy with Gabe and I so want to spend more time with him since I`ve been neglecting him for so long.

They say that if you have had babies who sleep & eat when they are young, it is likely you will want more babies coz you had a good experience. But I didn`t. Both kids weren`t good breastfeeding babies (ok maybe it`s me), but they weren`t good milk drinkers too. And they were both horrid sleepers. I remember crying so often at night coz the moment I tried to fall asleep, I`d hear the wailing again and putting them to sleep was so hard. I remember at times being so sick and yet you had to deal with the kids, sometimes even crawling on the floor to move (me, not them).

Sometimes I think, maybe a 3rd child would be good for Gabe in that he would have another sibling to care for him. But then again, you can@t force your kids to stick to one another. And when they grow up, they may not even be in the same country. You can hope and pray but often it doesn`t turn out that way. so my thinking is to enable Gabe to be as independent as possible on his own and teach him as much as we can and just hope that when they both grow up, Lucas will always care for Gabe, even if they aren`t in the same place.

But I think for me, the biggest part of not wanting another child, is the FEAR. Even when I was pregnant with Lucas I was so fearful. That the baby I was carrying would have some genetic defect. I still recall, while waiting for the results of the blood test, I was fearful and so worried everyday. I can`t even explain it. I also recall asking the doctor during scans if there was anything wrong, asking them to please check the baby`s heart carefully. No one can understand this fear, not even Terry. I was carrying this child in my body and I felt it was my responsibility to ensure the baby was healthy. The utter relief when I got the blood test was such a burden being lifted off my shoulders.

Now approaching 40 and with my history of having a child with special needs, the risk is even higher. So yes, I`m going to selfish and not want a third child. All I want now is to spend time with my babies and focus more on Gabe. We`ve been blessed enough with 2 kids. Life is good now, I feel better than ever, I feel like I`m finally getting some ME time.

I love you boys very much，but Mummy has had enough...so no more siblings for you rascals.

The End of A Great Love

Like most typical love stories, it was probably love at first sight. The love interest belonged to someone else, but it didn`t matter. When you want something, you snatch take it. Lucas was in love and nothing was going to stop him. So, within months, they were inseparable.

Lucas and MooMoo belonged together. I thought it would last for many many years. I was wrong. You see, they have been through thick and thin. Even when MooMoo lost his head, Lucas still loved him unconditionally. Even when MooMoo was turning from white to greyish black, Lucas thought MooMoo was the cutest most huggable thing ever. From time to time, even when Lucas was playing, he`d think of MooMoo and go find him and lovingly hug n smell him.

YiYi even kindly bought a replacement look alike in Singapore in case we needed to replace MooMoo, but nope, Lucas ever the faithful loving boy he is, rejected the new love.

Then, tragedy struck during our family trip in Seoul. On our last day, heading to the airport, I realized MooMoo wasn`t with Lucas. Then I realized, we left him in the hotel and well, we weren`t turning back. So I explained to Lucas and surprisingly, he listened and nodded. Understood that MooMoo was never going to be seen again.

For his part, I would say that he handled very well, there were no dramatic tears. But he did ask for MooMoo from time to time on that day, but accepted what I told him. I had thought we were going to see tantrums and tears for days. Nope, even when we got back to Tokyo, he slept ok, I just chucked a spare bolster we had to him and asked him to hug it to sleep.

True love.....non existent.

Now, tutu is next. This one I`m scared, it`ll be terrifying to see what he becomes without it.

Anyway, MooMoo, it`s been a great few years, we`re sad you`re gone.

I know you can`t see much of this greyish blob resembling a cow, but it had a black & white cover which we lost, and obviously it had a head which came off long ago.

This was the intended replacement