Why 2 is ENOUGH

Very often, especially these past months, I`ve been asked a very frequent question: So, when is the 3rd one coming?......Yup, the million dollar question.

Honestly, I`ve asked myself this question too, many many times and given much thought to it. And the answer is NO MORE BABIES. I think I`ve had enough, especially since I`ll be 40 next year and it isn`t easy to raise 3kids on your own in a foreign land, and with one of those kids being a special needs kid. Before I got married, yeah, I thought I wanted 4 kids, now 2 is a blessing.

And I think the question comes often now because Lucas is turning 2.6 years old and that`s a pretty good age gap to plan for the next one. But I think it`s time to be selfish and think of myself.

For the past 5 years, I`ve been so busy changing diapers and wondering if I`m raising my kids right, if I`m doing all I can for Gabe, surviving on minimal sleep mostly. I want time to myself now. I want to enjoy time doing my own things, not continuing to change diapers and listen to a crying baby and waking up multiple times at night to feed a baby. I`m tired. Very tired. It hasn`t been easy with Gabe and I so want to spend more time with him since I`ve been neglecting him for so long.

They say that if you have had babies who sleep & eat when they are young, it is likely you will want more babies coz you had a good experience. But I didn`t. Both kids weren`t good breastfeeding babies (ok maybe it`s me), but they weren`t good milk drinkers too. And they were both horrid sleepers. I remember crying so often at night coz the moment I tried to fall asleep, I`d hear the wailing again and putting them to sleep was so hard. I remember at times being so sick and yet you had to deal with the kids, sometimes even crawling on the floor to move (me, not them).

Sometimes I think, maybe a 3rd child would be good for Gabe in that he would have another sibling to care for him. But then again, you can@t force your kids to stick to one another. And when they grow up, they may not even be in the same country. You can hope and pray but often it doesn`t turn out that way. so my thinking is to enable Gabe to be as independent as possible on his own and teach him as much as we can and just hope that when they both grow up, Lucas will always care for Gabe, even if they aren`t in the same place.

But I think for me, the biggest part of not wanting another child, is the FEAR. Even when I was pregnant with Lucas I was so fearful. That the baby I was carrying would have some genetic defect. I still recall, while waiting for the results of the blood test, I was fearful and so worried everyday. I can`t even explain it. I also recall asking the doctor during scans if there was anything wrong, asking them to please check the baby`s heart carefully. No one can understand this fear, not even Terry. I was carrying this child in my body and I felt it was my responsibility to ensure the baby was healthy. The utter relief when I got the blood test was such a burden being lifted off my shoulders.

Now approaching 40 and with my history of having a child with special needs, the risk is even higher. So yes, I`m going to selfish and not want a third child. All I want now is to spend time with my babies and focus more on Gabe. We`ve been blessed enough with 2 kids. Life is good now, I feel better than ever, I feel like I`m finally getting some ME time.

I love you boys very much，but Mummy has had enough...so no more siblings for you rascals.

The End of A Great Love

Like most typical love stories, it was probably love at first sight. The love interest belonged to someone else, but it didn`t matter. When you want something, you snatch take it. Lucas was in love and nothing was going to stop him. So, within months, they were inseparable.

Lucas and MooMoo belonged together. I thought it would last for many many years. I was wrong. You see, they have been through thick and thin. Even when MooMoo lost his head, Lucas still loved him unconditionally. Even when MooMoo was turning from white to greyish black, Lucas thought MooMoo was the cutest most huggable thing ever. From time to time, even when Lucas was playing, he`d think of MooMoo and go find him and lovingly hug n smell him.

YiYi even kindly bought a replacement look alike in Singapore in case we needed to replace MooMoo, but nope, Lucas ever the faithful loving boy he is, rejected the new love.

Then, tragedy struck during our family trip in Seoul. On our last day, heading to the airport, I realized MooMoo wasn`t with Lucas. Then I realized, we left him in the hotel and well, we weren`t turning back. So I explained to Lucas and surprisingly, he listened and nodded. Understood that MooMoo was never going to be seen again.

For his part, I would say that he handled very well, there were no dramatic tears. But he did ask for MooMoo from time to time on that day, but accepted what I told him. I had thought we were going to see tantrums and tears for days. Nope, even when we got back to Tokyo, he slept ok, I just chucked a spare bolster we had to him and asked him to hug it to sleep.

True love.....non existent.

Now, tutu is next. This one I`m scared, it`ll be terrifying to see what he becomes without it.

Anyway, MooMoo, it`s been a great few years, we`re sad you`re gone.

I know you can`t see much of this greyish blob resembling a cow, but it had a black & white cover which we lost, and obviously it had a head which came off long ago.

This was the intended replacement

Annual Family Trip 2016: Jeju Island & Seoul

We`ve just came back from our annual family holiday, this time we went to Jeju Island and Seoul. For 12 days!! Now, it`s back to unpacking and reality.

We had never been to Korea, but the rest of the family had, so everything was very new to us, and I love Korea. Though quite frankly I think I`m having kimchi overload. And rice cake overload. However, I think the 1 person who truly had the hardest time was Gabe. As you all know, His Royal Highness is a picky picky food eater, and is very loyal to certain foods only. So imagine Korea, where most food were 85% spicy. Gabe cannot take spicy food, Lucas on the other hand, can chow down mild spicy, he`ll just drink heaps of water.

So, Jeju was I think the hardest. The main specialty food was hairtail fish in spicy soup, or some noodles in spicy soup. Then there`s grilled fish, but Gabe isn`t a fan of fish. So the best option was grilled meat or yakiniku with rice. But again, he missed his udon n ramen I guess. Totally non cooperative bugger. Meals obviously was a nightmare with us trying to see what was suitable for him. Imagine his relief when after 6 days we were headed to Seoul where I hope the food choice was wider, else we have major SOS on our hands.

Thankfully, our hotel, Metro Hotel right smack in Myeondong was very convenient and guess what??? right below it was the popular Japanese bento take out, Hotto Motto!!!!!! Yay for Gabe. So yes, almost everyday, we had take out for him, and boy was he glad to have his udon soup. Phewwwww.

We stayed in Seoul for 7 nights and had the best time there. I think Lucas enjoyed himself very much with his cousins. And yes, I mostly did my shopping with a leech on my hips as he didn`t want to stay in the hotel room with Daddy n kor kor. The rest had a great time shopping.

It was a great great holiday, but it`s nice to be back in Tokyo with the kids in school. It`s been great spending 24/7 with them, but enough is enough.

Some pictures to enjoy!!